Making Mentorship Neuroaffirming

By Ludmila Praslova, Ph.D., SHRM-SCP, Âû

Most workplace mentorship programs are designed by neurotypical people for neurotypical people. But mentorship is a complex psychological process with relational and educational elements that should consider human cognitive, emotional, and relational differences.  When these differences are not respected, mentoring programs often fail neurodivergent employees who may think, process emotions, or relate in ways that are different from the one-size-fits-all model.  

The traditional approach often asks neurodivergent employees to mask, compensate, and exhaust themselves trying to fit neurotypical mentorship models. Sometimes, that means an expectation to fundamentally change who they are and become, or at least appear, more like the mentor. This isn't development or mentoring, it’s a push toward masking. True neuroaffirming mentorship says: "Be YOURSELF, not an imitation of someone else. There are many ways to succeed and thrive; let’s explore yours."

Systemic change starts with rejecting the deficit model. Instead of "How do we help neurodivergent employees overcome their challenges?" ask "How do we create flexible systems that work for different neurotypes?”

Some organizations progressed from one-size-fits-all approaches to considering neurodiversity in design, but this is not enough. The most successful mentorship is not designed "for" neurodivergent employees. It is designed with and by them.

The Co-Design Imperative

Participatory design makes the most sense for several reasons. First and foremost, it works. In 2024, candidates brought forward by Specialisterne had a 100% offer and acceptance rate in Goldman Sachs' neurodiversity program. This success comes from programs designed in partnership with neurodivergent communities, not imposed by neurotypical assumptions. Participation supports both key human needs and work results.

Active participation in goal setting supports engagement: Participatory goal setting, in general, is one of the keys to productivity. Mentoring and other types of development only work when neurodivergent employees have agency in defining what "success" means to them. Growth and career path mean different things to different people. While some may aspire to climb the organizational ladder, for others, success might mean job-crafting to create a role that maximizes flexibility or independent creativity. 

Nothing about us, without us: When neurodivergent employees are involved only as program participants, organizations risk creating well-intentioned but ineffective initiatives. When they're involved as co-designers, mentors, and program leaders, the resulting systems work because they're built by people who understand the challenges and strengths firsthand. 

Co-designed mentorship scales naturally: When neurodivergent employees help design mentorship systems, they create frameworks that work for different learning styles, communication preferences, and career goals. These systems naturally accommodate other forms of diversity—different cultural backgrounds, learning differences, introversion/extroversion, and work-life integration needs. It is not tied to rigid hierarchies and organizational charts. Instead, it is focused on goals, needs, and interests, with mentoring that can flow in all directions, including mutual mentorships where an established employee helps the new hire to understand the cultural environment while the new hire shares a specific skillset.

Practical Co-Design Strategies

Any organizational change project requires learning and listening before jumping in. Developing neuroinclusive mentoring programs is no different. 

• Start with listening, not planning: Before designing any mentorship program, conduct listening sessions with neurodivergent employees about what career development means to them, what barriers they've encountered, and what success looks like from their perspective.
  

• Plan inclusively: Make sure that the planning process itself is inclusive. Allow for multiple ways to contribute – in-person, remotely, verbally, in writing, with sufficient time to process and think.   
  

• Build feedback loops that matter: Co-designed systems include ongoing feedback mechanisms where neurodivergent employees can continuously refine and improve mentorship approaches.
  

• Embed flexibility as default, not exception: Build inherently flexible mentorship systems, multiple communication channels, various meeting formats, different feedback styles, and diverse definitions of professional success.
  

• Create neurodivergent-led mentorship: Don't just match neurodivergent employees with neurotypical mentors. Create pathways that enable neurodivergent employees to mentor others, lead program design, and influence organizational policy related to professional development.

  
  

Neuroinclusive Mentoring Approaches

While specifics of each program are different, at the core, neuroaffirming mentoring recognizes and respects neurodiversity, creating conditions where everyone can feel safe, seen, and supported. It helps people thrive by:

1. Focusing on Strengths Rather Than Deficits

Traditional mentoring often centers on “fixing” perceived weaknesses. Neuroaffirming mentoring flips that script. It asks: What energizes this person? What comes naturally? Where have they already succeeded, even in unconventional ways?

Example: Instead of telling a mentee to “be more organized,” a mentor might say, “You seem to think in big, interconnected patterns. Let’s find a planning style that supports that.”

2. Adapting Communication Styles to Meet Individual Needs

One-size-fits-all mentoring often leaves neurodivergent mentees confused or overwhelmed. Neuroaffirming mentoring can match participants based on their most effective communication formats. Mentors may also be prepared to use multiple forms of communication and check in on how information is best processed (written vs. verbal, synchronous vs. asynchronous. 

Example: A mentor might summarize meeting notes in writing, break down abstract feedback into actionable steps, or offer alternative ways to connect (e.g., via email instead of video).

3. Validating Lived Experience Without Pathologizing Difference

Neuroaffirming mentors listen without trying to “correct” or interpret through a deficit lens. They trust that the mentee’s experience is real, even when it doesn’t match their own.

Example: Instead of saying, “You’re overreacting,” a mentor says, “Looks like your brain flagged that as unsafe. How can we make things feel less threatening?”

4. Removing Shame from Seeking Support

In many work and academic environments, asking for help is seen as a weakness. Neuroaffirming mentoring normalizes and affirms support-seeking, removing the shame often baked into systems of ableism.

Example: A mentor might say, “Many of us need scaffolding to do our best work. Let’s figure out what’s fair and helpful for you.”

5. Building Self-Efficacy and Self-Trust

Rather than micromanaging or pushing dependency, neuroaffirming mentors empower mentees to experiment, reflect, and learn in ways that feel authentic. They help mentees notice what works for them and trust their own judgment in shaping their work lives.

Example: “You noticed you really enjoy working on auditing projects. Could this be a job-crafting opportunity?”

In Sum

Neuroaffirming mentoring supports sustainable growth and deep personal agency. It helps people reach their full potential, not by changing who they are, but by honoring it. 

Neuroaffirming mentoring is best designed by involving neurodivergent employees in program development from day one. They identify barriers that others may miss, propose solutions that work for different neurotypes, and create feedback loops that continuously improve the system.